Procrastinatory Musings

Another year in New York

2007-08-29T14:28:00.000-04:00

I'm a little stunned that I'm about to start my fifth year in graduate school – when I started my fifth year of undergraduate study, I knew it was going to be my last. Now, at this current fifth year point, I have no idea how much longer I'll be in school (perhaps another five more?!?) or whether or not I'll ever finish. It's a little bit stressful.

I had a birthday recently and am another year closer to the third decade of my life. My philosophy has aways been that odd-years, are much better for me than even-years. We'll see if this year can help buck the trend.

In other news, I only lasted a little while as a lemming on the bike... I am the world's laziest person at the gym. I've been travelling extensively around the country this summer... so no gym for me.

Now that I'm back in NYC however, I'll run for five minutes and be ready to quit. The funny thing is, sometimes, when I pace myself and am in the right mood, I'll last for whole 30 minutes on the treadmill.

I'm thinking I crave discipline in many aspects of my life, but have been coasting on banked good stuff (genes, brains, etc.), so that I haven't really felt the consequences of a lack of discipline. What to do.

I've heard that my metabolism is going to change big-time once I hit thirty. I'd like to save up some more of the good stuff to soften that blow of an even-numbered birthday. I think I might go back to lemming class - it's much more shameful to stop 30 minutes into an hour-long class when one is in the second row. I just can't be trusted with a bike in the back row.

Lemmings on stationary bikes

2007-02-10T09:32:00.000-05:00

I had to laugh when I noticed that I had nearly my entire year of posts on the main page of this blog. Ten posts. I'm not surprised that my hits are way way way down. I don't think anyone keeps track of this blog any more, certainly not me. But I always have that impulse... today... this week.... this month... this year... will be the year that I bother to try writing writing my "musings" down more when I'm procrastinating. In all honesty, things have been busy!

Everyone knows that the weather has been crazy in New York. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to go to my gym two doors down and am starting to wonder if I should just join the gym that's in my building... I recently got into spin classes. It's the way my exercise should be - mindless, structured, and repetitive. I've always discovered that my disinclination toward groupthink also advances some major laziness at the gym.... do I really have to do another 10 minutes of cardio? I'll just wrap up early to do something else! So I've just commited to being a lemming on a stationary bike.

Hell's Kitchen...

2006-12-23T14:58:00.000-05:00

Cockoholic points to Fagat post where they write: But we must object to the inclusion of Hell's Kitchen. Sure, some bargain-hunting gays live there, and yes, Therapy is nearby. But if HK is the future of gay life in the city, we may just move to South Second, WI. We're no experts, but this is a neighborhood best known for its cramped sublets with fake walls, framed posters, second-hand futons, fake plants, and mismatching Ikea furniture. From what we can tell, the gays that live there are a bunch of double-denim-wearing, TKTS-stub-clutching, DEP-gel-using, Instinct-subscribing, chin-pube-sporting, RENT-soundtrack-(still)-singing, triple-finger-snapping members of Dolphin Fitness. Who couldn´t even get their shit together to live in the East Village. snap! snap! snap!

I read this finger-snapping tirade with amusement - "bargain-hunting" gays, spoken with a disdain of someone who imagines that Therapy is a redeeming institution.

meh.

As I start to explore the world of gay sociability in New York - I'm struck by how the general cliquishness of the city also permeates the gay scene. It's easy enough to see why someone would bother starting up a gay variants meetup group... paradoxically an outsiders clique...

Also the social permeability of gay dancefloors and bars I've encountered in other cities just don't seem to exist here! All interactions in most clubs here seem to be structured by race and looks in pretty egregious ways. Man - all the gays who were ostracized in their po-dunk towns really internalize all that crap - which then manifests itself in general bitchiness once they migrate to the big city.

Which brings me back to the topic of the ipod listening, American Apparel wearing, faux-hawk sporting, wide bracelet wearing, equinox gym-going, cooler than thou hipster types that populate the oh so ridiculously expensive area formerly known as alphabet city - get over your arrogant bitchy self!

posting more frequently

2006-12-13T09:37:00.000-05:00

Well - let's see what's happened since the busted-lip threesome.... not much. Been veg'in out a lot - binged on the entire run, thus far, of the third season of Veronica Mars this past weekend in one prosecco fueled evening. I fell in love with the show during the first season - it was the perfect mix of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Twin Peaks - noir done in pink and green.

One of my friends describes the show in relation to Buffy as thus: "Buffy always did the right thing no matter how much it hurt. In the world of Veronica Mars, there is no "right" thing to do. Truely the Buffy for our times." I'd have to agree with him. However, the second season never quite gripped my the way the first season did (except for one memorable jury duty episode), and initially the third season didn't inspire fervor either.

That said, I have to confess that there's something about telly binging that's infinitely more satisfying than having to wait weeks and weeks for the resolution of an arc. I say this as I wait for my episodes of Heroes (1-11) to come through....

whoo hoo!

2006-12-04T09:01:00.000-05:00

I'm non-influential! If I had scored any higher, the results would have been highly suspect....

Insomnia

2006-12-03T05:24:00.000-05:00

What a fall it has been - after traveling this summer and spending some time in Southern California - I returned to a ridiculously busy September, October, & November. I can hardly believe that it is already December!

But you didn't what a generic posting... my cover was blown on this blog, so i'm a bit reluctant to discuss the things that I had initially set up this blog to write about... my misadventures in new york city...

But, I'll throw caution to the wind and write a bit about my latest acquisition this evening. First a quiz.

How did I acquire busted lip and a black eye earlier this evening?

A) From the fists of a mugger on the streets of Hell's Kitchen
B) By walking into a door that someone opened from the other side(no, really! I'm not in an abusive relationship).
C) From a bottle of champagne to celebrate my film being picked up for distribution.
D) By being way uncoordinated in a threesome setting.
E) None of the above.

tick-tock.

The answer is D! Due to some seriously uncoordinated threesome sex, I am now up at an ungodly hour with a headache unable to fall asleep... well, maybe some details about the event would be useful. Basically I leaned in just as the guy was sat up. WHAM! Forehead to face. Ouch! Apparently with me, it's not a real hookup unless minor injuries occur (c.f. this summer's tooth chipping incident on a boat in Vancouver). Seriously, I felt concussed and kinda ended up not having as good as a time as I might have (was a trooper though and kept on going, even though the busted lip meant no more kissing). meh.

So I'm revisioning this blog, debating whether or not I can make the commitment, to (at least) weekly updates on stuff happening around with me and NYC... or if I should just give up... and cease BLAH BLAH BLAH-ing on the internet under this pseudonym.

summer hiatus

2006-09-11T10:12:00.000-04:00

Its been a while since this post was updated - i think that's cuz all told I've been curbing my procrastinatory habits... did some travelling this summer in Asia and Canada - met fun locals and expats. There'll be an update about my Vancouver trip where I managed to chip a tooth when a wake from a passing cruise ship slammed me into the guy that I was making out with - I guess if I were going down on him and the same thing happened, he might be the guy missing a bit of himself....

apropos...

2006-06-07T11:23:00.000-04:00

I was going through my bookmarks and noticing a link for a party that I had always wanted to go to, but never had the time to go to on Wednesday night.. Runtnite... for short gays (runts) and the men who like them (runters)... anyhow.. the link was dead, so I hop over to archive.org to see when the site went down... on the main page of the archives however was a link to a public service announcement made in 1969 about venereal disease... entitled: VD is for Everybody that seems to be selling VD as a product that will make you happy and successful.

craigslist fun

2006-06-01T22:23:00.000-04:00

no.. not that kind of fun!

more the selling stuff that now no longer fits into your newer and much smaller, new york apartment.. i've been selling stuff (including the camera I shot most of my documentary with) on craigslist... purging my life of the stuff that I've managed to accumulate over time.. it's amazing that when I first moved to college it took me a minivan to load my stuff... now it takes three professional movers nearly 8 hours to lug my stuff across manhattan...

a friend of mine got a job.. in kentucky... she found a place where the walk in closet was larger than her first NYC apartment... the broker didn't believe her.. I wouldn't have either, that is until I moved to New York.

what's fun about my new apartment is that when I stand in the very corner of my corner windows, I can look down at all the sunbathers on the sun deck 16 floors below...

lol

2006-05-21T14:58:00.000-04:00

this ad is hilarious - borders on dada.

text only post

2006-04-02T10:51:00.000-04:00

to see if I'm able to post via email... things have been really busy
for me this semester. my film is coming along nicely, though it's a
bit freaky that the public screening is only around a month away now.
lucky for us, we're probably going to be able to screen at Sunshine Cinema

Ascent!!!

2006-03-31T10:31:00.000-05:00

I've been mucking around flickr these days... which is really kinda great. But whats fun are the toys that people have made to interact with the site including this cool make your own motivational poster!

Mad TV...

2006-03-08T09:56:00.000-05:00

apparently has a whole A & F sequence... kinda funny, kinda not...

via queerclick

work work work

2006-02-24T22:42:00.000-05:00

things have been busy - it's kinda shocking that the semester is nearly half over! I look at the syllabus and kinda freak out at the thought that I still have film to shoot and edit, as well as two seminar papers to write this semester. I am totally screwed! please forgive the livejournal-esque angst posting...

posting via widget

2006-02-24T18:24:00.000-05:00

google has finally gotten it together to release some widgets for mac users - including a blog posting widget that I'm using, a gmail checker, and a search history widget.. pretty cool

retrievr

2006-02-12T13:27:00.000-05:00

I've been experimenting with "retreivr" which searched for photos on flickr by sketch!!

can't believe it's already february

2006-02-06T20:07:00.000-05:00

after some ridiculously mild weather in january, 2006 has decided to throw in some cruelly cold & blustery days in february. perhaps they only feel so cold because january was so warm. regardless... the semester has begun again. in grad school it seems like every semester one is expected to accomplish ever more things... how we're expected to squeeze into the week these tasks are up to us... food? sleep? a meagre semblence of a social lif? uncessary!

how i long for the days when i only had to take classes...

there you have it - my jump the shark post (not only do i talk about the weather, i also talk about my work, which, I'd bet, you care not one whit about) - i should get back to talking about how I saw a guy jump into an already occupied shower stall at the gym... hrumph.

albatross

2006-01-14T05:58:00.000-05:00

finally done!!! a major project that's been long overdue has finally been completed.. it's a relief. It's kinda shocking that it's 2006 already! For the first time in over a decade I decided to make a new years resolution - I've resolved to learn how to wolf whistle before the year is up. wish me luck.

this morning at 4 am I was woken up by a book on tape that I had going when I was falling asleep.. and now, I can't fall back asleep... dah

harddrive failure

2006-01-10T17:30:00.000-05:00

was the source of my mac mini problems - apparently it wreak havoc with my firewire bus and posed start up issues... anyhow, I got my computer back from the apple store with a new hard drive and none of my old data.. doh. i have a month old backup that I'm trying to port into the new setup... backup backup backup! especially before your hard drive fails... :P

i'm amused by this (memoirs of a geisha redux)

2006-01-08T00:11:00.000-05:00

smart ass wait line music DJ...

2006-01-07T11:26:00.000-05:00

while waiting for the AppleCare operator to get back to me about why the store decided to replace the harddrive before they replaced the logic board (despite explicit instructions by the Apple Genius Bar to the contrary) I managed to make it through 4 songs before Elton John's Rocket Man comes on... the refrain of course is:And I think it’s gonna be a long long time.. over and over again.... still on hold and we are on song number 8...

my poor spasmed back!!!

2006-01-06T10:45:00.000-05:00

Ever since my return to New York - my back has been hurting like crazy. I think it's a materialization of the stress that I'm under trying to finish up overdue work... dah!!! i need to see my massage therapist, STAT! I could go on about how much I love the massages I get from him.. his hands are like buttery steel the way they just go at my tense back muscles. I will be very sad if his acting career ever takes off, and he no longer has to rely on massage as his livelihood...

smoky nightclub... or crack?

2006-01-05T10:06:00.001-05:00

There is much brouhaha about Lindsay Lohan's interview with Vanity Fair where she talks about her eating disorder and her drug habits - apparently it's not surprising that she's dealt with the two, but rather that she's talking about it candidly and openly... feh.

One article on CBS writes: Lohan is in a Miami hospital right now, recovering from what her family says was an asthma attack, and Cagle notes, "This hospitalization was terrible, terrible timing, just because it's going to raise all that speculation. But we do know that she suffers from asthma and she was out at probably a smoky nightclub on New Year's Eve, so we have to give her the benefit of the doubt there."

The only problem is that there's no smoking allowed in nightclubs or bars in New York... even the bars that let patrons slide a bit.. never even begin to approximate the degrees of smokiness of bars in other cities I've been to.... however, there do seem to be quite a few studies about how cocaine use exacerbates asthma symptoms - namely Prevalence of cocaine use and its impact on asthma exacerbation in an urban population and New-onset bronchospasm or recrudescence of asthma associated with cocaine abuse...

Time spent at the Apple genius bar

2006-01-04T17:49:00.000-05:00

Having recently spent quite a bit of time waiting at the Apple Genius Bar, I was impressed with the fact that I was actually able to get service on December 31st and January 2nd. Of course, it would have been nicer if my computer hadn't crapped out, and that the first genius had just sent the computer off to get repaired rather having me take it back home with the advice, keep an eye on it... Like all tech problems, the first time I took it in, they plugged the computer in and everything worked I remeber when you'd be lucky and have to pay through the nose to get tech service on the weekend.

When I read posts like Seth's and the type of stupid ass responses it generated, I get annoyed. Yes, they posted a while ago, but the gratuitous sense of entitlement that people imagine they "deserve" just because they drop a couple of grand, still annoys me to no end. And they don't let people comment on their blogs, so I decided to type something up on my blog.

Sure... Apple could segment out it's customers and give priority service to the person with the powermac rather than the ipod.... but doesn't part of Apple's long term growth plan include converting some of those $300 customers into $6,000 customers? (I myself have purchased three macs this past year - so pbbbt to those wanna play the sour grapes card).

I think it's a great idea that every customer can have enough time with someone who can address their concerns - whether it's with a fried logic board or busted iPod. Plus, since Seth's post, it seems like they have iPod geniuses and mac hardware geniuses... which solves the problem without having to resort to pre-paid mailing envelopes.

It seems like rather than segmenting customers, Apple should just increase resources to be able to deal with everyone's needs. Which is a less whiny, less entitled, more idealist, restatement of Seth's concluding point. I think we've got to keep in mind that Seth's second less than positive experience involves trying to get something fixed on a Saturday night - Saturday night - c'mon - which other company isn't going to charge you time and a half to even _speak_ with a tech? Give the customers an inch and they'll scoff at not being given a mile.

That said, the Genius Bar really needs a better way to deal with running late when people have already made reservations on-line. Waiting an hour and a half after my appointment slot was not fun. I'm a bit dissapointed that Apple has introduced ProCare - so that people can pay for better service, rather than just providing that type of service to everyone off the bat...

Capitol

2005-12-28T14:32:00.000-05:00

Whenever I'm back in DC I'm reminded about how short people seem to be here... it's like all of a sudden I've gotten taller by around 5 inches. hmmm... according to wikipedia, the napolean complex - is a colloquial term used to describe a type of inferiority complex suffered by people who are short... Typically people with this complex will compensate in many ways, reaching beyond their personal performance. A person with a Napoleon Complex may set pictures in their home to lower levels and make other such accommodations which will enable them to feel taller in their surroundings. Compensatory behavior exhibited by those with a Napolean complex may also include being overly aggressive or argumentative and a need to over-achieve, which all serve to give the person a sense of greater self worth. Is it a coincidence that they congregate at the nation's capitol? I think not.

non sequitur of the day: People in DC seem to think that my dog is fat.

what are you looking for?

2005-12-26T11:45:00.000-05:00

Recently, trying to figure out how to spell crucification, I realized that one can purchase almost anything on ebay.

kicking it in the greatest city in america...

2005-12-24T15:19:00.000-05:00

aka the city that breeds... but during last night's performance at the ottobar I got to enjoy the the de-generettes rock out opening for Trixie Little's John Water's Chrismas Special... snagged myself a evil tap-dancing hate monkey t-shirt.... especially scotty the blue bunny's MC-ing... who doesn't love a 6'2" man in platform heels and a spandex bunny outfit?

It's that time of year...

2005-12-04T17:39:00.000-05:00

When Thanksgiving morphs into Christmas.. all around the city generators are running full blast to power the Christmas lights that are draped across trees for sale on street corners. I always feel sorry for the really small trees, which you see plenty of in New York, as most people's apartments are really small. The potential of growth into a majestic pine tree... cut short at 3 feet... sad.

The other day, I was at the gym trying to relax in the sauna... when...drama. This one guy kept on following another guy around going... "do you even know him?!?" ... while the other guy ignored him.... I had no idea how to read the situation, except that both guys set off my gaydar...

sonic weapons redux

2005-12-03T18:51:00.000-05:00

a la my earlier post about pirates being fended off with sonic weapons, another sound based weapon has been produced... except it's targeted at "teenage loiterers"... apparently the mosquito emits a high-frequency pulsing sound that can be heard by most people younger than 20 and almost no one older than 30... kinda creepy.

hmmm

2005-11-09T17:57:00.000-05:00

who dresses their ipod up in a pirate costume?

sonic weapons

2005-11-08T19:11:00.000-05:00

i had heard about the cruise ship that nearly avoided being boarded by machine gun wielding pirates off the coast of Somalia recently, but I've just read about how the cruise ship had "sonic weaponry" that that blasts earsplitting noise in a directed beam.... crazy.

Super Mario Brothers 3

2005-11-01T15:40:00.000-05:00

I recently picked this up for my Game Boy Advance SP... it's been fun and nostalgic going through the game... but I stumbled across this link which provides some links to a videowhere a person manages to beat the game in 11 minutes. The writer of this review of the video is impressed with the way that the player racks up lives in level 8-1. I was more impressed with what the player was doing in level 8-2 where he was racking up the extra lives by jumping on consecutive bombs without the raccoon tail! Amazing. He never dies... and in the non-panning levels, he basically never stops running... if you've ever played this game, you need to download the video and marvel at the skill that is demonstrated.

hilarious....

2005-10-31T11:19:00.000-05:00

someone's costume for halloween... the the uncropped photo is up on flickr

Hmmmm...

2005-10-30T09:50:00.000-05:00

Just checked out my referral logs... and someone surfed to my blog after searching for "bobst library gay pickup" on google. Sorry to disappoint ya' anonymous surfer...

As a tangential aside, have others also noticed that google search results these days require more "massaging" (i.e. searching multiple times with different words) in order get to the information being searched for?

monkey on my back

2005-10-28T20:35:00.000-04:00

overdue work has been seriously affecting my worldview... or "starting to damage my calm" ...

kinda feel like Simon in the above picture... which leads us to a more pleasant topic... I've been really into Serenity/Firefly recently. It was weird the first time I watched it because every character seemed to be yet another character that had been imported into the Buffy/Angel universe... but on to the sean maher fan sites... I've decided that's he's definitely hot from certain angles but it took the "objects in space" episode to convince me...

unsuprising...

2005-10-26T13:07:00.000-04:00

slashdot links to a number of articles about FBI abuse of the Patriot Act...

hilarious post..

2005-10-13T20:17:00.000-04:00

the "international male" way of life is a post over at nightcharm reflecting upon an artcle published on radar by Andrew Goldman who dresses for a week in "international male" outfits.

More Anna Wintour

2005-10-11T08:21:00.000-04:00

this time wintour got a pie to her face by PETA folk during a fashion show! Just Jared even has pictures!

Britney decided not to sell...

2005-10-11T08:16:00.000-04:00

an article about how Britney was concerned that buyers might be under the wrong impression about what they were bidding upwards of $40,000 to buy!

When the lesson plan doesn't account for reality...

2005-10-08T14:15:00.000-04:00

A high school senior, as part of an assignment to "illustrate their rights in the Bill of Rights," has his poster confiscated by the Secret Service... the student had taken "a photo of George Bush out of a magazine and tacked the picture to a wall with a red thumb tack through his head. Then he made a thumb's-down sign with his own hand next to the President's picture, and he had a photo taken of that, and he pasted it on a poster." A Wal-Mart employee thought it was suspicious enough to report it to the police who reported it to the Secret Service.

buy a bra - help katrina's victims...

2005-10-05T10:18:00.000-04:00

provide both yourself and victims of katrina with support - when you buy britney spears' jewel encrusted bra

a classic revisited

2005-10-05T09:06:00.000-04:00

I remember encountering the black people love us site for the first time and laughing my ass off...

Creep-tastic friendster...

2005-09-30T17:58:00.000-04:00

I knew that friendster was going to implement the "see who has looked at your profile" option when friendster started tracking the "your profile has been viewed x-number of times since the beginning of the month" - sure enough, today when I logged into friendster, I saw the option to see who has been looking at my profile. Apparently people who I haven't talked to in 7+ years, random very cute strangers, and ex-girlfriends of friends.... weird. Of course, I immediately turned on the "anonymous browsing" option... because that's the way I like my stalking.... anonymously.

Time Out

2005-09-30T11:10:00.000-04:00

Time Out must have been a pretty cutting edge publication - featuring frenchies on it's cover as far back as 1997....

Strep Throat = No Fun

2005-09-29T10:11:00.000-04:00

*rant alert*

I don't ever remember having strep throat - I didn't even really know what it was until I looked it up after the doctor diagnosed me... basically, it's the pre-cursor to the f*cking scarlet fever... plot-point of the famous children's story The Velveteen Rabbit... taking advatange of some openings in my schedule as a result of people avoiding me due to my contagious disease... I do my quarterly laundry run (yes, I'm a clotheshorse and my wardrobe is large enough to avoid having to do laundry more frequently)... where someone steals my laundry detergent. Which I wouldn't have even minded if they had been like... oh, I forgot to bring detergent, and I gotta use some of this detergent... but who takes 10+ laundry loads worth of detergent from a clear bottle to use on one load of laundry? I was seriously tempted to pour in 10+ laundry loads worth of bleach into the solitary machine that was in operation after I got back to the laundromat to claim the last of my clothes and detergent. Don't people at least know how to steal with style?

Vogue, Fatties, and Stupidity

2005-09-20T08:50:00.000-04:00

This morning I wrote an email to the peeps over at Jossip in response to one of their Monday columns. In the fluff piece they wrote: Now Conde Nast has become the whipping boy for the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, whose agenda sounds even more garish than the queer community. They want Wintour to recognize fatties are people too, even if they have the body weight of several.

My email:

Subject: Anna Wintour & Jossip on Fatties
Dear Jossip:

I read your column on Monday regarding Anna Wintour and I wanted to applaud it's brave honesty. It's unusual for "jossip" columnists to recognize the connection between fat people and gay people. Usually it's only activists who want to claim that these are related forms of oppression. But Jossip had the good sense to see that both gay people and fat people are connected in the sense that they don't deserve to live or be happy the way they are. As Jossip would seem to imply, the real problem with New York would be it's diversity. Lot's all follow the lead of Jossip's column and put down the people who really don't deserve to be people anyways. I'm not sure why. They just don't.

Many Thanks!

.....

yeah, anyhow...Ha ha - fat people are so unglamorous. The platform of recognizing the humanity in everyone is "garish." One is being such an ethical and respectful human being by making snap judgments about who people are based on qualities that that they really can't change, NOT. Sure, most people who identity as gay can probably get it up and bump uglies with someone of the opposite gender (just as some queers will probably deign to f*uck republicans) - but this logic of sexual preference "choice" and it's concomitant moral garbage is exactly what gets applied to fat people who are seen as failures for not being thin. Some fat people can go on diets and lose weight little for a while. But, hello - over ninety percent of diets fail! I wonder what the "straight" conversion camps are. What they don't cite in the original article is Sandy's response to those who claim concern regarding fat people needing to lose weight for their own good, she says ""How do dislike and concern become mixed up to be the same thing? That's just garbage." At least the people at Jossip in their ever present bitchiness don't even bother with concern - they just present a disdainful dislike.

I'd rant some more about the chub & bear population in the gay community and the pigheadedness of the body fascists who imagine they are the heart and soul of the gay community... but i'm late for class.

the strange world of Harry Potter

2005-09-12T09:07:00.000-04:00

According to Cinematical Katie Leung, who plays Cho Chang in the upcoming Harry Potter movie has been getting hate mail. This of course isn't exacly news - as Harry Potter Automatic News Aggregator already reported about this phenomenon in April - Snitch Seeker has some portions of the article as well as a discussion thread.

strangely beautiful clip

2005-09-12T06:18:00.000-04:00

Check out what looks like 3D animation, but as actually a movie comprised of photos taken by Mecury-bound Messenger during a gravitiy assist swingby of Earth. It comprises of 358 frames taken over 24 hours. The movie follows Earth through one complete rotation. The spacecraft was 40,761 miles (65,598 kilometers) above South America when the camera started rolling on Aug. 2. It was 270,847 miles (435,885 kilometers) away from Earth (farther than the Moon's orbit) when it snapped the last image on Aug. 3. (via LangaList)

snip, pump, stitch

2005-09-06T17:07:00.000-04:00

According to Dr. Lefkovits, An important consideration for buttock fat grafting is the availability of extra fat in different parts of the body. While fat is usually in abundance, there are patients in whom there is no extra fat available. In these patients buttock augmentation with fat is obviously not feasible. Ahhh, plastic surgery for men...of course if you want to get fixed up on the other side down there they'll call in the "expert," Dr. E. Douglas Whitehead....who has a extensive gallery of cut up and swelled privates... yuck.... the look so sad and unhappy...

flex that geek muscle

2005-08-22T09:36:00.000-04:00

Points to anyone who can identify what was being read by two girls overheard at Columbia.

Girl #1: 'Twas never a merry world since of two--
Girl #2: Oh, fuck! Start over. I forgot the vibrator.

awesome webpage that i just stumbled upon

2005-08-20T21:28:00.000-04:00

it's a community web project where people mail in self made postcards revealing secrets... the first one that showed up made me laugh...

the east village in las vegas

2005-08-01T21:24:00.000-04:00

where the diamond district is next to the meat packing district - how overdetermined.

Overheard in New York

2005-07-29T10:00:00.000-04:00

People contribute the stuff that they've overheard around town to a often hilarious listing...

Will the American Harry Potter please stand up?

2005-07-26T13:00:00.000-04:00

Read about state-side Harry Potters who, of course, are all muggles.

clean, complex, dark

2005-07-26T00:11:00.001-04:00

sounds like me.... except for the part where it thinks I like the office - i kinda find it a bit too painful to watch (in an un-therapeutic sort of a way)...

the Wit(60% dark, 26% spontaneous, 27% vulgar)
your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK
You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean you're pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most effort to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

Also, you probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

the 3 variable funny test

The WWWA network...

2005-07-25T21:43:00.000-04:00

June 11 (Bloomberg) — In a surprise move expected to send shockwaves through the world of TV journalism, CNN, the orginal cable news network, and NBC, which owns cable channels MSNBC and CNBC, announced a deal to consolidate their news organizations into a single giant news network. By pooling their journalistic resources, the organizations will be able to offer deeper coverage of the most important stories of the day, and will be better equipped to complete with current cable news champion FOX News. The new network - to be called Where the White Women At?, or WWWA - is set to debut this week. Society has changed, and the business of journalism has changed with it. These days, with the increased opportunities available to white women, we as a nation are losing track of even the prettiest white women. White women are dissappearing in Aruba, from their jobs as Washington interns, and even right before their own weddings. And while we do our best to give the public all the necessary information about missing white women, the job is just too large for any one cable network to handle. And it is not just the number of white women who are going missing that is the problem. There are also white women who aren’t missing, but whose location and situation demands public attention. There are white women on trial for drowning their kids, white women who are dead but nobody knows who killed them, and even some white women who are on spring break and drunkenly flashing their breasts. Clearly, the sheer volume of white women stories is beyond anything journalists have ever had to deal with before.

Great satire... (for more information about the where the white women at network visit thepoorman.net)

Personal trainer or a gigolo?

2005-07-22T15:33:00.000-04:00

He only ever wears shorts or sleeveless mesh sports jerseys (even during February).
He looks like he's on steroids (ginormous arms).
He has a year round tan (which sometimes looks orange).
He is almost always in the company of a number of thin semi-attractive older women who drive ridiculously expensive cars (>$100k).
They are always loading or unloading luggage from said car.
At the gym, he gives pep talks over the cell phone about making decisions and the difficulties of owning one's own business.
He is around at all times of day (i.e. he'll be at the gym on said phone during regular business hours).
He gives relationship advice to women that he is in the company of.
He lives on the fifth floor (i.e. if he was independently wealthy he wouldn't live in my apartment building).
One of my neighbors jokes with him about the fact that he's a gigolo.
He winks a lot.

stewart and her frenchie

2005-07-18T12:14:00.000-04:00

a bunch of the breeders of frenchies are all in a tizzy about Martha Stewart showing off the frenchie on the cover of Vanity Fair - they despise the fact that people are going to go out and get a frenchie to be like Martha. apparently the phones at a number of people who are breeders or work with frenchie rescue networks are ringing off the hook (from midnight calls to six am calls). sample quote: To say I was horrified to see Martha with a Frenchie is putting it mildly..Our wonderful breed is under such pressure already; now add the publicity that this will [bring] to it...The puppymillers; byb's and importers are probably counting the profits already.... for more opinions go here and here is a link to why you should not buy from puppy brokers.

writing

2005-07-17T23:26:00.000-04:00

I discover that I have little less than three weeks to write my masters paper before I go and give a plenary talk at a conference happening this August in Chicago. While I don't plan to beat myself into a bloody pulp, writing has been a daunting task as I don't every really feel like I know what I am talking about, much less able to shape my inchoate thoughts into a viable argument. (image via uffish)

Gone to the Dogs

2005-07-14T19:55:00.000-04:00

Considering how little I've posted this summer, it's remarkable how little time I've spent outdoors enjoying the weather... I was recently sent this fun quiz Gone to the Dogs (it's under the game section). I'm apparently an Irish Terrier.

polaroid this!

2005-06-23T22:23:00.000-04:00

Turn any image into a polaroid

Fluff

2005-06-21T19:52:00.000-04:00

An article published in the New York Times wonders Gay or Straight? Hard to tell. The writer uses the term "gay vague" to describe the fact that indices of male sexuality (clothing, grooming, etc.) has been confounded. "The other night I was at a dinner sitting next to someone who was talking about how he couldn't tell anymore, that he just didn't have any gaydar. And it was so funny. I couldn't tell if he was gay or straight."

The funniest (i.e. unselfconsicously ironic) line quoted in the article is from the style director of Cargo magazine. "The lag between gay innovation and straight appropriation is nonexistent now," said Bruce Pask, the style director of Cargo magazine, who is gay. "They're picking up the trends as fast as we are" well, isn't that part and parcel of your job Bruce?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2005-06-08T07:12:00.000-04:00

Because it had fifty-four dollars to blow... (via totty.

Clap on, clap off

2005-06-06T23:16:00.000-04:00

I had a clapper growing up. But I think I plugged in something that required too much electricity at one point, and I melted the family clapper. It was never replaced. I was reminded of it at one point because I had been thinking about making a film about domestic violence (an upcoming assignment was off screen sound) and someone suggest working a clapper into the storyline. I think I have a fucked up crew. But anyhow. According to amazon - those who have recently purchased a clapper have also purchased: Airborne Effervescent Health Formula Tablets & Astroglide Personal Lubricant.... hmmm.

Overheard on the commute #1

2005-06-02T22:44:00.000-04:00

Person 1: Where does the Brooklyn Bridge go?
Person 2: Uhh.. Brooklyn.
Person 1: Hmm.. well, the Holland Tunnel doesn't go to Holland.

End of term disappearance

2005-05-21T19:42:00.000-04:00

Things have been crazy with end of school activities - been awol. This summer I'm going to film school and taking the language of sight and sound where the students have to write, direct, shoot, and edit five short films in six weeks. Yeah. That and writing a really late M.A. paper. So. Every post here is an indication of my ... well... failure of not working. So. posts might bit a bit sporadic for the first part of the summer (or not).

insomnia

2005-05-12T05:04:00.000-04:00

procrastinatorymuse: i'm gonna head off
procrastinatorymuse: if i don't get a little bit of sleep
procrastinatorymuse: i'm gonna yell at some vips today
and get in trouble
procrastinatorymuse: ...
procrastinatorymuse: :)
random internet denizen: lol...well i suppose u dont wanna do that
procrastinatorymuse: oh - but i do
procrastinatorymuse: ...
procrastinatorymuse: which is why i think i should go to
bed.
procrastinatorymuse: lol
procrastinatorymuse: i hate new york fagerrati.
random internet denizen: ohno u dont
procrastinatorymuse: ohyes i do. not in a sour grapes sort
of way. but in a - want to write a short story
about "bradley sharpe" and his ascent in
the fagerrati world
procrastinatorymuse: culminating in a private invitation
issued to him at some HRC ball.
random internet denizen: a bLOL
random internet denizen: LOL
procrastinatorymuse: on that note - have a great day ;)

Weird WASP practices

2005-04-28T20:24:00.000-04:00

On nude swimming in manhattan A small vaulted ceiling provided a womblike dome for a feeling more of relaxation than of athleticism... "One guy wasn't looking when he was coming out of a lap and grabbed another guy. He felt something strange, but familiar."

what kids are up to these days

2005-04-20T10:25:00.000-04:00

Apparently juggling and playing dance dance revolution at the same time. (via Boing Boing)

Hmm.. so that's what my speech sounds like.

2005-04-16T20:40:00.000-04:00

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English

20% Dixie

15% Yankee

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Screw Scalia

2005-04-16T20:34:00.000-04:00

Eric Berndt is my hero.

Get out of the crimson room....

2005-04-14T18:39:00.000-04:00

Play the original time suck here.

Perjury

2005-04-12T09:28:00.000-04:00

The New York Times is running an article today about the uses of video evidence in the trials of those arrested during the RNC. There are several cases that have come up where the officer's testimony is shown to be completely false. "It took four officers to carry the squirming defendent down the steps" etc. etc. Anyhow, after video evidence comes to light, the prosecution quickly drops the case. In one video, the un-edited version of the police tape which had the segments showing the defendent peacefully complying with arrest and not using his bike to "rush" the police - which was the ostensible reason he was arrested... hmm. Darn that technician - it must have be he who accidentally removed that footage for length purposes. And for some reason, we won't mention what's going to happen to the cops that "mis-remembered" under oath. A number of cases had arresting officers testifying about the resistance to arrest who are later shown on video-tape to not actually be anywhere near the arrest of the defendant. For some people mis-remembering under oath and co-ordinating testimony becomes the convictable crimes of perjury and conspiracy.

OMG

2005-03-30T09:41:00.000-05:00

If you think Terri: Culture of Death is upsetting, wait till you read this blog. You'll need to listen to this song to get over it.

Discipline, Energy, Beauty, and Strength

2005-03-27T10:49:00.000-05:00

Wonderfully campy shit. In lesbian action film D.E.B.S. where we follow the adventurers of a group of spies that are selected out of a hidden test in the SAT that tests students' aptitude for lying, cheating, fighting, and destroying. My favorite lines?

Lucy: Australia's toast!
Scud: What's your beef with the Australians?
Lucy: I don't like their attitude.

Trailer here.

Fun with type

2005-03-21T15:11:00.000-05:00

Go here to spell with flickr images and Amaztype is a "typographic book search" which is also kinda nifty.

5 of 7

2005-03-21T14:53:00.000-05:00

Wayward Puppy has a post with a 7 cartoon characters in silhouette. I was able to guess 5 out of the 7. The answers are here.

Pirated Sites...

2005-03-20T18:11:00.000-05:00

Yeah - does the layout of a site look familiar? Pirated-sites.com has a listing of some sites that are so obviously rip-offs of other people's designs. I am just wondering what the client felt about the fact that the web designer that they paid probably charged them an arm and a leg for basically no work.... hmmm.

Doggy porn

2005-03-18T21:00:00.000-05:00

I subscribe to a listserv of french bulldog enthusiasts. It's like having a constant stream of ridiculously cute pictures streaming into my inbox. But I do think that it is rare to compare an animal with its plush doll representation only to reach the conclusion that the animal is cuter than the doll.

My yesterday....

2005-03-17T07:56:00.001-05:00

Involve being late to a number of appointments due to, what the New York Times reports was, "a succession of three power failures shut down the Lexington Avenue subway line in Manhattan for much of yesterday, creating a day of confusion that stranded hundreds of thousands of commuters."

Sip, not gulp this martini

2005-03-01T09:09:00.000-05:00

The Algonquin Hotel where I've spent many a evening soaking up yummy cocktails has a new menu item. The $10,000 martini. Hmm.

Poked a hole in the pope...

2005-02-28T21:02:00.000-05:00

My friend Citizen Rahne has a new song Papal Tracheotomy that she has released to the internet. It's stuck in my head now. Be warned. It is part of her Songs that NPR Taught Me series. Click here for the All Things Considered piece.

I Heart "Bride and Prejudice"

2005-02-27T18:53:00.000-05:00

I just saw Bride and Prejudice yesterday - it was awesome. I appreciated Chada's adaptation that merges the Austen novel with Bollywood genre conventions. Plus, eyecandy for everyone. Aishwarya Rai is ridiculously beautiful. Me and my friends were often the only people laughing in the theater during some of the funniest parts of the film.

Our Leader

2005-02-24T09:20:00.000-05:00

Our Leader
I found this story on Blue Lemur. Of course, the difference between this poster and the ones that I posted before is that the leader's government ostensibly didn't have to pay for its production.

The Big Brother

2005-02-18T20:35:00.000-05:00

Big Brother is Watching You (screen capture from the 1956 Michael Anderson film Nineteen Eighty-four).

The Führer

2005-02-18T00:56:00.000-05:00

The People, the Country, the Leader!

The Chairman

2005-02-17T07:01:00.000-05:00

The first of four in a series on leadership posters.

Chairman Mao is the red sun in our hearts.

Puppy Antics

2005-02-15T10:20:00.000-05:00

During the day, aside from intermitten periods of play-time, the puppy naps. This translates into lots of energy at night. When he should be sleeping he's putzing about in his crate. This morning I was woken up at 4 in the morning to the sound of him chowing down on his own vomit. Doh. After I cleaned him off and was washing the crate he took advantage of my distraction by shitting on the carpet. Double-doh. I only noticed because I stepped in a small piece of a 5 piece masterpiece in the corner. Triple-doh. Serves me right for being nice and wanting to wait for him to warm up before taking him out into the rain for a potty walk. My goal today is to take advantage of the good weather to tire him out with lots of walks - provided this plan doesn't backfire on me and get me all sleepy and unable to get work done later tonight - it's a brilliant plan.

Drug Resistant HIV virus

2005-02-14T08:50:00.000-05:00

In a NYTimes article, on online responses to the public announcement regarding the possible discovery of a new mutated strain of HIV that resists all known drugs, the journalist ends with: Jon, a 33-year-old New York escort who uses the Web site Manhunt.com, a popular gay dating site, said in a telephone interview that even the most educated and cautious often slip into dangerous behavior. On Friday night, he said, an H.I.V.-positive lover he had met online came over to watch a movie. Though he worked in health care for 15 years and usually insists on practicing protected sex, this time he did not make his lover wear a condom. "After the sex, I freaked out," he said. "I thought, 'How stupid to go that route after 40 years of being negative.'" He was 33 years old? But has gone 40 years of being HIV negative? Is this suppose to be the humorous and ironic ending to the article?

New experiences this weekend....

2005-02-14T03:36:00.000-05:00

Realizing that if you aren't wearing gloves, picking up fresh dog shit in the cold will keep your hands warm (especially if the plastic bag you use is thin).
French bulldog puppies are crazy... in a good way.
When you walk a dog in NYC, you are fair game for stanger initiated conversations
Some people think my dog looks like a terrier, others think it's pug-ish.
The polite response to a woman who asks whether or not I plan to dock my dog's ears is not "Many people think the docking of ears is inhumane and borders on animal cruelty"

Who looks like whom?

2005-02-13T10:32:00.000-05:00

Do you think people look like their pets? (via puptastic)

What do you think of this pickup line?

2005-02-10T08:40:00.000-05:00

Hey, my great-great-grandmother was your great-great-grandfather's mistress... How 'bout it?

I am of course refering to Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles of course. It was clear the heir to the throne was keen on country-loving hunting fan Camilla from the start, especially when she jokingly mentioned that her maternal great-great-grandmother, Alice Keppel, was the long-time mistress of Charles's great-great-grandfather, Edward VII. Parker Bowles, then Camilla Shand, is said to have told the Prince: "My great-great-grandmother was your great-great-grandfather's mistress, so how about it?"

Pure-breeds and Hybrids....

2005-02-09T09:28:00.000-05:00

Columbia news service writer Farrell writes: Sometimes called "designer mutts," puppies like the schnoodle, the cockabiche and the shih apso are rapidly gaining in popularity and selling at exorbitant prices. The schnoodle, cockabiche, and the shih apso? My goodness - next thing you tell me will be that they've crossed a labrador with a poodle to produce the labradoodle. These breeders have a perverse sense of humor.

Theorist Donna Haraway has commented in an interview with Prickly Paradigm Press: I'm interested in creatures that inhabit borderlands. Dogs inhabit the borderland between the civilized and the wildness that lies just beyond. Dogs are about unfreedom. Dogs are degraded wolves. They're about the realization of man's will in nature. All that is fascinating to me. I wonder what she would think dogs that embody the borders of race and breed that humans have established. What I also find unremarked upon is that if you read the history of every breed, you'll get the sense that mixing was an active part of that breeds genesis. But seriously though, a labradoodle?

Targeting Gays....

2005-02-07T08:08:00.000-05:00

PlanetOut has a "hey, advertise with us page" where they feature press releases of successful ad campaigns. The release quotes Nivea for men's marketing manager, Joseph Venezia, as saying: "Nivea for men believed it would benefit from targeting gays." Yeah, get the "gays" to buy your stuff. *barf*

Down the street this week...

2005-02-05T19:10:00.000-05:00

The Westminster dog show is happening next week - exactly corresponding to when my breeder is coming to town to deliver the puppy. Hmmmm. Anyhow, if tickets weren't so expensive, I would have been interested in poking my head in to have a look see.

Huh... The Belief-o-matic

2005-02-05T17:48:00.000-05:00

The Belief-o-matic (via Robbie's World).

1.	Mahayana Buddhism (100%)
2.	Hinduism (94%)
3.	Theravada Buddhism (92%)
4.	Jainism (90%)
5.	Neo-Pagan (70%)
6.	Unitarian Universalism (70%)
7.	Sikhism (67%)
8.	Liberal Quakers (60%)
9.	Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (55%)
10.	New Age (53%)
11.	Orthodox Quaker (52%)
12.	Taoism (50%)
13.	Bahá'í Faith (47%)
14.	Jehovah's Witness (46%)
15.	Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (44%)
16.	Seventh Day Adventist (43%)
17.	Scientology (42%)
18.	Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (41%)
19.	Orthodox Judaism (39%)
20.	New Thought (39%)
21.	Secular Humanism (37%)
22.	Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (35%)
23.	Reform Judaism (35%)
24.	Islam (28%)
25.	Eastern Orthodox (23%)
26.	Roman Catholic (23%)
27.	Nontheist (21%)

WDTD?

2005-02-04T11:04:00.000-05:00

[warning... kinda fucked up post]

A variation on my earlier What Would You Have Done? Here is a "What Did They Do" quiz.

Imagine this.. some broke-ass college students want to prank their former high school by putting a sex doll up in a tree. After said students got to the local sex shop, C&C, they realized that the white doll costs a minimum of $100, while the black dolls start from $20.

Did they?
A) Realize that they couldn't afford to pull off this prank and called it off to go home and blog about it.
B) Realize they were being horribly misogynist and purchased a non-humanoid sex doll to put up in the tree.
C) Stripped the friend in the group they liked least and tied him up in a tree.
D) Lynch a black sex doll.

This post that I stumbled on today has the whole story.

But is the printout vegetarian?

2005-02-03T08:53:00.000-05:00

The NYTimes is running an article about a sushi restaurant that prints out images of sushi on flavored edible paper. "He also prepares edible photographs flavored to fit a theme: an image of a cow, for example, might taste like filet mignon." Hmmm. Interesting concept... but somehow, I don't imagine I'd be satisfied. (via /.)

Please... no more vodka martinis...

2005-02-01T01:41:00.000-05:00

I learned how to drink on tequila - what can I say, I grew up in California. My drink of choice "evolved" away from that strong tasting booze to to it's diametrical opposite - vodka. I got pretty good at drinking the flavorless liquor as well. I even managed to hold my own in a vodka drinking contest with some Polish exchange students while I was studying abroad. It was abroad that I was introduced to the "vodka martini," it was also abroad that I heard Aqua's "Barbie Girl" for the first time. I was wrong on both counts when I assumed the later was a freaky east asian phenomenon and the former was the way that a martini should be drunk. I was reminded of this when I had to make my nightcap martini with vodka tonight because I was out of gin... gah. c'est terrible.